SELF TALK
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Both research and experience show that when people
with anger problems change their self talk, their anger de-escalates and
they regain control. When you feel yourself starting to get angry take
a TIME OUT and read these statements to yourself. Transfer them to 3 x
5 note cards and read them several times a day as well as during your Time
Outs. |
12 TIPS FOR TOUGH TIMES |
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I don't need to prove myself in this situation, I can
stay calm.
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As long as I keep my cool, I'm in control of myself.
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No need to doubt myself, what other people say doesn't
matter, I'm the only person who can make me mad or keep me calm.
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Time to relax and slow things down. Take a time out if
you get tight.
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My anger is a signal. Time to talk to myself and to relax.
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I don't need to feel threatened here. I can relax and
stay cool.
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Nothing says I have to be competent and strong all the
time. It's OK to feel unsure or confused.
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It's impossible to control other people and situations.
The only thing I can control is myself and how I express my feelings.
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It's OK to be uncertain or insecure sometimes. I don't
need to be in control of everything and everybody.
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If this person wants to go off the wall, that's their
thing. I don't need to respond to their anger, or feel threatened.
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When I get into an argument, I can stay to my plan and
know what to do. I can take a Time Out.
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Most things we argue about are stupid and insignificant.
I can recognize that my anger is jut my having old primary feelings being
restimulated. It's OK to walk away from this fight.
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It's nice to have other people's love and approval, but
even without it, I can still accept and like MYSELF.
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People put erasers on the ends of pencils for a reason.
It's OK to make mistakes.
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People are going to act the way they want to, not the
way I want.
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I feel angry, that must mean I have been hurt or scared.
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